Who cares anymore what should have been? Yes it was big black guy who was first, but first of many. The woman He's with now was a high school sweetheart, so I think things ended up as best they could. I was in love with a rape survivor who identified as bi. But if this is a trauma induced change that is scaring you, the first thing is to not feel judgement or hate.
You did Not deserve that at all.
My First Time Series
All that matters is you are happy and feel no guilt, no shame. They are together again and they click magnificently. Some posts are necessarily NSFW, and they should be marked accordingly. I resented the personal stuff that prevented me from having a relationship with him at first, bit now I'm happy for him. At least I have a wonderful best friend. I was terrified, shaking like a leaf, had never even had sex with a girl, and suddenly had to learn to be with men. But I have heard of similar things and met a few people who had similar experiences to you.
I resented the personal stuff that prevented me from having a relationship with him at first, bit now I'm happy for him. But stop me if I cross lines. I even learned to like oral. Then they win and you lose. And if you want to fuck or be fucked by a willing someone, that's fine too.